The Becoming

Claire Davon

The bump stuck out above her shoulder bone, like a deer’s head when they were growing antlers. She must have picked up a tick without realizing it. She tried to recall what the insects were from her childhood back east. Chiggers, that was it. She was far from Revere Beach, but anything was possible.

Tanya wasn’t a big fan of gazing at herself, but her mother had drilled into her the necessity of regular breast exams. She’d been doing that activity when the strange protuberance caught her eye.

It must have happened when she went to the ocean. An out-of-town family had been one of the few sharing the beach with her that day, complete with weird kid and dog. The mutt could have shed mites on her. If she had an insect under her skin, she’d have to go to Urgent Care to get it removed. The one near her wasn’t too bad, if she went at off hours.

She reached to touch it and her hand encountered nothing. When she peered behind her, she was greeted by the same smooth flesh that had been there the day before. Her eyes and reflection were showing two different things.

She wore glasses, but her prescription wasn’t so high that she would see things that weren’t there. She took them off and stepped closer to the mirror. The apartment blurred, but her image was in sharp focus. Not that she had much to see in her one-bedroom place in Mar Vista. The place was affordable, as much as anything could be in the city.

The lump was still there. She shifted from side to side to determine if the image was some distortion of her full-length reflection, but the thing stayed as she moved.

She probed the spot again. The skin was warm under her fingers.

Tanya put her glasses back on and pushed the problem from her mind. Whatever was happening, she’d deal with it after work. Checking her phone, Tanya determined she had time to surf her website matches before heading in. She hadn’t been out with a man since the demise of her last relationship seven months ago. Her friends urged her to try the dating sites again. After some hesitation, Tanya had agreed, and even paid a professional for decent pictures. The rational part of her understood she was silly to wish for choices—average girls like her didn’t get tons of guys. She didn’t need many. One would do.

Or did she? Why not her? Why shouldn’t she get lots of interest? She shouldn’t be moping around waiting for a bunch of men. She deserved better.

She’d sent seven emails, but one sole reply graced her inbox. She’d shot high the first go-round and answered several who had that polished glamour look of a confident, handsome guy. One guy had taken the time to block her instead of not responding. He’d been a college football star, and no doubt had tons of replies. He was still a butthead. All she’d done was email his profile. Jerk.

Her one response was decent, and his email was nice. She answered it and on a whim, added her phone number. Her forays into online dating had fizzled out in the past. Time to take bold action.

She’d read to be successful in this medium a person had to play the odds—and so she would behave like a gambler. She couldn’t win if she didn’t play. Guys did that. They aimed high, and sometimes their arrows landed.

Just do it.

After sending a dozen emails, Tanya closed her laptop and went to begin her day.

When she slept that night, she dreamt about flying insects with gossamer wings. A glittering fairy like that kid’s story wove through the images. Tanya flew with them, her butterfly wings seeming too ephemeral to support her, yet kept her aloft. Tanya stirred and moaned out loud before settling into sleep again.

The next morning the bump was still there, along with a new one on the opposite side of her back. Panic stirred inside her and her forehead was hot to the touch. Perhaps she had gotten too much sun in her outing. One chigger she could credit, but not two. The swellings were symmetrical, with one on each shoulder. She probed at the new bump. It didn’t behave like a beetle under her skin—the sensation reminded her of when she’d first developed breasts.

That was insanity, of course. She was a human and not a freakazoid alien that grew body parts in adulthood. She was an average gal living a normal life.

A voice came from inside her. You are what you believe yourself to be.

She checked again, and still only saw the lumps in the mirror and not when she craned her neck to stare at her back. She could see them in the glass, yet not observe them with her eyes.

Tanya snorted. She was who she believed herself to be. Hadn’t that creep of an ex said the same when he discarded her for a younger version. He’d told her she was bland, and he was trading up.

Tanya prodded the protuberances. She’d have to check if such a thing existed as sand spiders. If these were bites, the toxins would have made her skin itch. She had no desire to scratch at the lumps, but to cover them and protect what was emerging.

Things would sort themselves out. Time to go to the dating sites. She checked before work to have a finite time limit on her browsing. Else, her yearning to meet new men might become an obsession.

Her efforts had yielded one more response, and a reply from Leonard, the first guy. He’d given her his number and suggested they get coffee. She would suggest a bustling place with lots of people. That way if he was unpleasant, or his pictures stolen, she could ditch him in the crowd.

When she got to the coffee shop, Tanya was relieved to find Leonard matched his images. They might be at flattering angles and five years old, but they were of him. She’d done a little covert online stalking, and he was an average guy. Like her. Just a person trying for a connection in this crazy city of theirs.

“Hi,” he said, holding out his hand. His palm was damp and he was shaking. If he was two inches shorter than his listed height, and stood just above her even in her modest kitten heels, she could forgive that. There were worse things.

“Hi back. Nice to meet you.” She had this mad urge to reach out and…sting him? Tanya pushed it away, covering her involuntary flinch with a nod as they went to the counter. To her relief, he liked strong coffee without extras. No crazy order with a million requirements for him.

As they talked, her body felt light and ethereal, not quite her own. The places where she could see and not see the changes beat inside her in time with her heartbeat. More than once, she lost the thread of what Leonard was saying and had to ask him to repeat himself.

“This was nice,” he said when their cups were drained and the coffee cooled. Patrons ebbed and flowed, the murmur of conversation lessening as the minutes passed. Soon it would be time to call it a day.

Tendrils of sensation slid through her belly, like the beat of tiny wings. Tanya forced herself to focus on Leonard.

“…dinner?”

She shook her head. Before he could say anything further, she continued.

“I can’t until next weekend. If you’re free then, we could meet for an early meal.” She’d have to clue in her girlfriends in case she needed an escape.

She could have gone that night, but wanted to maintain the illusion of a busy schedule. The day was warm and filled with possibilities. Awareness danced over her nerve endings, begging to be explored.

“Great. I’ll send you some suggestions for restaurants.” He hesitated and then opened his arms for a hug. She allowed him to hold her and then made her goodbyes.

Entering her apartment, Tanya hurried to check herself out in the full-length mirror, her back blazing with heat. She was both freaked and excited to determine what lay under her skin.

The swellings were bigger. Though Tanya told herself to be scared, something in her said that this was how it had to be. She touched one while looking at it in her reflection. It wasn’t hard like a bug, but not like a blister. She couldn’t find the right words to describe it. Maybe like when something was growing and needed protection until ready to be born.

As she watched, both bulges shifted. She yelped in surprise and alarm as her back split with a pop. Tanya stared at what emerged. Small, webbed wings lay on her skin, damp and quivering.

Excitement shot up her spine, sending her nerves dancing. Whatever had happened on the beach was manifesting into this. Tanya hadn’t changed color and hadn’t grown horns. The rest of her was still normal. The one thing was the wings on her back.

She laid down on her bed and discovered that they were not uncomfortable. They might be when they got bigger, but not yet. When she turned on her side, one shifted as though trying to accommodate her.

As Tanya surrendered to sleep, she wondered what she was going to be like in the morning.

“Stop woolgathering and get to work.”

Tanya jumped when her boss went by her. She’d been typing, pondering if she dared take a bathroom break and study herself. Her wings rustled. They were getting bigger, yet invisible to all except her reflection.  It would be amazing if they could support her when they reached full size.

Sensation surged through her body, telling her she was excited to find out.

All Tanya’s life she’d been average—boring. Now she was turning into something else. This thing inside her inspired her to get out and take chances. She speculated about the person or whoever had given this to her at the beach. Perhaps a sea monster had crawled to shore and left spores there.

“Sure thing. I’ll get right on…things.”

He grunted when she put her hands on the keyboard. Her boss hovered for a few seconds longer before stomping off to his corner office.

Daddy got you that title, big man. You didn’t earn anything.

Before, she had nothing to look forward to. Things were different now.

She couldn’t wait to find out what had happened to her back in the hours between arriving at work and getting home.

As soon as she could escape, Tanya dashed to her place and locked the door. Then she threw off her blouse and bra as she rushed to the mirror. She let out a delighted cry when she caught sight of her new image.

The foot-long, lacy wings pushed away from her back to wave behind her. Tanya touched them and observed the movement in the glass. When she shifted her gaze to her back, all she saw was her hands. The mirror was the one real place.

She’d read up bird and insect wings. The nearest she could come to describe these was more like insect wings than bird ones, with their opaque membrane and like colored tendons. The protuberances fluttered in what might have been a response to her musings.

Her text dinged, and she strode, naked from the waist up, to where her purse lay. She brought it back to her former spot and checked out her wings again before going to the phone.

Leonard was confirming dinner for the next night. She’d almost forgotten their date. Her wings rustled and as she watched, grew an additional few inches. She let out a startled, yet delighted cry. She was glad she was growing wings, and not some chitinous exo-skeleton like happened in horror stories.

Perhaps she should cancel. She might not want to go on the date.

The wings tugged at the skin of her back. She winced and shot a glance at her image. They were standing straight out.

He deserves to be bitten too.

Tanya stared at her reflection, and the wings went from a half a foot to a foot long before stopping. She now had honest to god wings, and they were all hers.

Taking a deep breath, Tanya tried to lift herself off the ground. Her body got lighter, though her toes were still on the floor. She wondered if her wings would work when she had no reflection. The idea of being without her new appendages filled Tanya with sadness. Her gaze lit on her hand mirror sitting on the vanity and Tanya snatched it up. If she carried this with her, then she’d never be without a way to see them. Her mood lightened and she tucked the item into her purse.

Perhaps this was how vampires were. Their allergy to sunlight wasn’t so much the sun, but the fear of discovery in every reflection, every windowpane, every pool of water. She doubted passersby would react well if the person they saw walking down the street showed a giant winged insect in storefronts. That could be the genesis of the vampire bat story.

What she was developing into was extraordinary. Tanya had never been that—now she would be. She was seeing something that the privileged alone were able to. By happenstance, she was one of the select few who had the power to peer into a strange world.

Tomorrow was her date. Excitement raced along both sets of her nerve endings, new and old.

Her new power had decided who to bestow itself on next.

Leonard was waiting when she got there. She liked a guy who was prompt. Tanya gave him a quick hug. Something slithered down her leg, and was gone.

A moment later he winced and lifted his foot, pain crossing his face before it faded. If he figured out what was going on, she’d play it out and then get out of there. She’d block his number like that jerk football player had done to her, and vanish.

The gauzy shawl she wore floated around her shoulders like a cloud, the bottom drifting out like the filmy wings that were a part of her.

“Something bit me.” He leaned down and pulled back his pant leg and sock. A mark showed on his ankle. “Weird. It must have happened when I was in the yard.”

Perhaps she wouldn’t ghost him. If he reacted well to what happened next, then they could explore this together.

After all, she had joined a dating site to find a partner.

There were many men, now that she had the courage not to settle. Leonard was the best so far, but not the only one. She would contact those arrogant turds who dismissed her the first time. The new Tanya didn’t accept defeat. What she was transforming into wouldn’t let her.

“Mosquitos can get through almost anything if they are determined.” She moved her hand around in imitation of waving one away.

“Sure. Could be that.” He pushed his pant leg down and focused his attention on her. “Sorry. You were saying?”

When their bodies became whatever they were going to be, they could meet again. Until then, she would go out on more dates, and spread this to the next person. And the next. As that family had done on the beach that day. She would understand who to target when the time was right, as with Leonard.

It deserved to live. It and its kind. All she had to do was help it along. She would check her profile when she got home, and find out if she had any new matches. If not, she would hunt down some more. With her newfound confidence, she had many more possibilities.

Tanya smiled at her date, its next host, and gestured to the restaurant. She peered at her reflection as they walked to their destination. Her back showed a distortion in the filmy fabric.

Leonard yelped and pointed to the glass. Tanya’s heart skipped a beat and she tightened her grip on the shawl.

“What is it?” The wings shifted under the lace, one end poking out before settling back under its covering.

He walked to the window, and she was sure he was about to comment on her back. She would call him crazy, leave, and block him on all platforms. Sweat beaded under her foundation as she waited for his answer.

“I thought I saw someone I recognized.” He stepped away from the shop, his brow still furrowed. “Never mind. I was wrong.”

The new Tanya would behave in ways the old one did not. Perhaps more could see what she did—if she allowed it. The power lay in her.

“Shall we? I’m starved.”

“Yeah.” Leonard swung out his elbow to offer her his arm. “I’m glad you agreed to dinner. I was excited that you did.”

The chivalrous gesture was a nice touch. The gift had been bestowed on a suitable person. Her lips curved in the enigmatic mystery expression of femme fatales worldwide.

“Me too. Let’s go.”

Together they walked into the restaurant. As she moved besides Leonard, Tanya caught her reflection in the plate glass. The wings streamed out and dipped behind her. This was going to be good.